Pseudo Blog by Big Brother....

Hi Beeps

No need to see you as I can keep up to date with everything on your blog.

So you have finally found a use for Todd’s old saws, and with the house so full at the moment, you have had to find new sleeping quarters for Craig.  The brown bin is an excellent idea, as it gets cleared once a week.

But I do realise that you know nothing about what’s going on my life, so here’s my Blog for the weekend. 

With Eloise in Israel and Jack at school, over the last week we have had a preview of what an ‘empty nest’ feels like… and it feels good.  If you put something down somewhere, it STAYS there.  If you tidy up something IT STAYS CLEAN.  The food, the bread, the milk and the biscuits LAST FOREVER.  And I can watch WHAT I WANT on the TV.

But nothing lasts forever,(except- I found - permanent marker ink) and on Friday we went to collect Jack from School in Lewis.  It was also his prize day.  As Rachel and I sat on the hard PE bench and clapped all the clever children who had won prizes, we hoped that there would be a prize for the ‘most excluded from class’ – because it would be a travesty if Jack didn’t win that one. One by one, just about the whole school went up for prizes (some got two or three) until our HANDS were numb with clapping.  But who needs prizes anyway – I bet Einstein, Mozart or Churchill never got prizes either. Rubbish school anyway. Which reminds me of the Milton Jones joke – “The school has a big problem with drugs – especially Class A.”  Over the last week Jack has been busy at school.  He went to Brighton on a week’s work experience as an Assistant Technician in the computer department for the University of Brighton. He learnt that change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. He also went on a walk and overnight camping expedition for the Duke of Edinburgh Award scheme, although the amount of money we have had to spend in ‘Cotswold’ on his equipment, he could have gone to Barbados for a fortnight in a 5 star hotel! 

The journey home took four hours, not helped by the car developing a fault, and we went straight back out to see Milton Jones – in the Harrow Arts Centre – in the rain.  We had great seats on the second row, and felt slightly venerable as he picked on the people sitting next to us.  We all held onto our bladders as going out for a wee would have been fatal.  He was on for an hour and a half and told hundreds of jokes I hadn’t heard before.  Brilliant! “He is learning Hebrew in Jew course”  “He found a clowns eye on the pavement – and thought ‘that’s a plus’.” And “If you are working on the checkout of a hand grenade shop, don’t ask your customer for the PIN.”  I took a book to read just in case the show was boring.  It’s called ‘Where do comedians go when they die’ by Milton Jones.  He signed it ‘Hello Robin x’ to which I replied ‘Goodbye Milton x.’ 

It rained on Saturday and on Sunday I played golf.  My KNEES were still hurting from the game of rounder’s we played on Thursday.  It was a work event, with the whole company taking part.  However, old duffers like me should know better.  At least I wasn’t as bad as my colleague Gilbert (who is a year younger than me). He made a dash for fourth base, slipped, fell and broke his collar bone in two places – I told him not to go back to those two places. Groan. He’s still off sick recovering from his operation.  I’m not saying that golf is a game for old crocks, but as soon as one of my playing partners saw me limping, out came the knee braces and knee supports.  I chose the one that looked the most suitable and had a lovely conversation about the knee operations all the way from the 6^th to the 18^th hole. They were very derogatory about Physios, so I kept my wife’s profession quite. In the afternoon we took advantage of the relatively dry weather and went to Black Park so that Jack could use his model boat on the lake, while we watched the terrified ducks dash for cover. He was very popular with the toddlers watching on in awe of his handling skills, until he BUMPED the boat against the bank.  Next week we are going to Eastbourne and he wants to use them on the SEA which should be interesting. On the way home we went to the garden centre and bought some plants for our waterlogged garden.  Roses, some DAISY'S and a climber.  In the evening we went of a curry in our local, and so went to bed feeling bloated. 

And now it’s Monday and I must get back to work. 

But before I go, I realise that to be a proper Blog, I need a title.  How about "Hands, Knees and Bumped Sea Daisy's"?

Bye.

 Robin x