I've lost count of the days, I think it may be either Tuesday or Wednesday who knows and quite frankly who cares.

I've been lying in my bed pretty much unable to move as the pain in my lungs is still debilitating to say the least, I feel like a little old lady.  The worst thing is when I am watching something on the laptop, currently 'Glee', every so often I can see my own fucking reflection, well it doesn't look like me but I guess it must be because I am definitely alone.

My lovely doctor called me this morning to see how we were doing.  I told her I had been too scared to take my blood pressure so she told me to do it with her whilst we were on the phone, 206/116 big ol numbers.  She immediately prescribed me another medication to take on top of the ones i'm already taking, hopefully that will do the trick.

Dad... he is like a skeleton in the bed.  Not eaten now in almost two weeks, just a few sucks of an orange and a quarter of a bit of cheese.  A palliative care nurse came to see him today.  He was rude, even though she was really pretty under her mask.  It took her almost 20 minutes to establish that he does actually want to live.  At least I think that was the conclusion.  I felt better if not more exhausted.  I seem void of emotion just going from day to day not knowing what to expect, I'm not sleeping well, up at 3am, more Glee - even the awful American accents and the voice over singing doesn't seem to be bothering me.

Savannah is now suffering really badly with her back.  Luke and Cassidy have taken the dogs for a walk and she needs a hot water bottle.  I made my way into the kitchen to put on the kettle and successfully made her a bottle and a cuppa for me.  I couldn't get back up the stairs, she couldn't come down - we were at a bit of a stale mate!  Eventually, we met somewhere in the middle, I handed her the bottle arms outstretched, along with a wee chocolate and we both just got stuck, on the stairs like Kermit the frog... we weren't at the bottom and we weren't at the top, but this is the place where we always stop.

More beautiful friends dropping off food, Clare bringing home made curry and rice along with homeopathic medicines was a God send along with Dahlia's emergency bag full of what seems like the entire content of Tesco's.  To put my hand up at the window next to hers was so sad, yet so special.  Judith's homemade soups full of goodness, cat food deliveries from new friends, phone calls with Jane which have literally saved my life along with text messages that I've yet even to read. Everyone, just everyone has been so kind, so understanding - I'm truly blessed to have you all in my life.

So, girls have just blocked up the toilet upstairs - well, this will be interesting, no way I can do that!  The cat has literally sprayed cat litter all over the office floor and pooed all over the edge of the tray and over the broom.... sorry, can't do that either!  Poor Luke, I bet he wished he had stayed in Australia now!