I've slept most of the day, a lovely chat with my Sarah I'm not sure was in my dreams or real.  To hear the sound of her voice in my head is so comforting, always there for me, always.

Dad's slept most of the day too, he had a little soup at lunchtime and a cup of coffee but nothing more.  He is so weak and so sad, we wants nothing except his wife.

I've missed Mum so much today, I miss her everyday.

We did manage to get Dad out in the garden for 10 minutes, sitting in the sun we thought would do him some good.  Robin called and talked him through some virtual tai chi, as soon as Dad her the words chi kung it was almost like his subconscious took over and he listened and obeyed Robins words, it was quite remarkable to see and literally warmed my heart.

Me, well, exhausted and my back and head pretty bad today.  I think the medication from the doctor has actually taken my blood pressure too low, I'll keep any eye on it over the next few days.

This evening at 8pm I stood outside the front door and clapped for the NHS.  So many were doing the same, we could hear everyone clapping and whooping and it was surreal but so comforting, a pretty special couple of minutes.  I came in exhausted, literally unable to make it back up the stairs.

Today, my heart and my soul feel broken, I'm on edge and can't see the light, I'm chocking back the tears and don't think I will be able to do this again for a while.  It's helped to write, it's pretty good therapy for me, I don't think anyone is reading it anyway.  Who knows, maybe tomorrow things will look better xxx