Blog 121 - Ode to my Gynae

Sitting at my desk, a quiet afternoon, I thought it was a good moment to write an Ode! 

Ode to my Gynae

 I lay down for examination

I really feared the worst

He stuck this thing inside me but 

he didn't kiss me first!!!

Please don't do it, I begged him,

Please leave my insides in.

"No", he says all cocky....

"it's all going in the bin"

"It's better out I tell you,

You'll feel much better you will see,

It won't affect your love life,

or the power of your wee!"

No No, but I need it! 

I've had it all my life

Please don't cut me open Sir

I'm frightened of the knife!

"Now, listen dear", he comforts

"300 of these I've done,

Each woman feels like new

I promise, each and every one!"

I'm sorry sir, I don't believe you

My tummy is so sore

I don't want your hands going

where no-one's have before!

"I'll be gentle, that I promise,

I'll whip it all out quick

Once it goes, you'll be amazed

It will certainly do the trick."

Well, what could I say, I stammered

but but but are you really sure?

Will whipping it all out really

be my only cure?

"Yes," he said quite weary,

"For god's sake get a grip,

It will only be a few hours

a cut here, and a snip!"

So there I sat a waiting,

with Wonder Woman knickers 

on my head,

I thought it would make me braver,

whilst crossed legged on my bed.

All white and clean and sterile,

I was shaking like a leaf,

Hoping that with it gone,

I would feel some light relief.

He entered the door quite slowly, 

 a fox hunting down it's prey,

"Undress," he says, "put this on"

but I didn't know which way!

My bum was cold, it was drafty

exposed and not impressed,

I didn't like this feeling

I just wanted to get dressed

  Feeling cold and vulnerable,

like I never have before,

He looked at me and grinned

and walked back out the door!

It's cause I asked him kindly,

I was chancing all my luck,

Whilst I'm asleep, I deserve it

Please sir... a tummy tuck?

"No" he said whilst laughing,

I looked up from where I sat,

"I can, but here's the problem

It will make the rest of you look fat!"

In they all came with face masks,

a tear ran down my face,

I've done my will & testament,

well, I had to, just in case!

I needed a few minutes,

I felt they came in far too soon,

Lets face it 45 years 

Is a long time to have a womb!

Now two years on and how do I feel?

Like a new women, never finer!

Not only fit and healthy

but just walked the Wall of China!

By Beth Gevell 

October 2012