Day 48 - Go Ape and Bra Balaclava's

Now, this was fun... I took Savannah and Luke to Go Ape in Black Park today, what a laugh, obviously, we went to the loo before the event, in fact, I went twice just to be sure!  We purchased these cool gloves that made us feel a little like Spiderman, they had little sticky suckers on them so that we could grip the wires better and on return from the loo Luke made a mental note to himself  "do not wear these gloves when going to the toilet". 


Lovely Alex, our instructor,  gave us a brief brief and strapped us into our harnesses.  It felt strangely supportive, we have lines and Carabiner hooks dangling between our legs, the zip wire iron clipped firmly to our side, tackle around our bottoms and legs and the all important whistle in case of emergency.... we waddled to the first leg of our adventure.

This was fantastic, ladders, ropes, bridges, zip wires, balance beams and so much more all up in the trees, it was so high that we could almost see into the birds nests!!  Our hearts were pounding when we saw the length of the first Zip Wire, Luke all cocky to start with but that soon wore off... it didn't help that right behind us were some little boys of about 11 who thought it was terribly funny to remind us that we were going to die... he enjoyed telling us "5 people had already died on this wire and there was about to be a 6th!"  Not true however, there have been no fatalities at all but it does knock your confidence a little when the little brats shake the bridge!

Happiness is sitting in a tree

Oh Dear!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's a Snook!!!

Does my bum look big in this?

The kid behind is going to Die!

Can you guess what word she is saying?

Luke was stuck here for 15 minutes! 

Team work

We made it and we did not die!

We received our certificates and felt rather proud of our achievement, the staff were fantastic and took our photo before we headed off.  As we got into the car, the heavens opened and hail, rain and wind lashed at the windscreen, we couldn't believe our luck, can you imagine if this weather hit us when we were 50ft up in the air swinging through the trees.

Pizza Express followed by Massimo... yum... well we deserved it didn't we?

Now, getting on for midnight, my house is full of teenagers, I think at last count there were 8 downstairs and 2 upstairs... I did join them for a short while, they were telling drunken stories... one of the girls was telling us that the last time she got really drunk, she was stark naked and quite sick, she said that one of her friends had to hold her hair back and the others held her boobs back whilst she threw up down the toilet!!! I pondered on this for a moment and couldn't fathom why she would need her 32 A boobs held back!!!  I then had to leave them to it when the conversation swayed to virginity!  Apparently one of the girls had lost theirs (I wont tell you who) but the other one found it!  She said she had to have a good rummage around!!!

I came upstairs to finish my blog and heard a massive scream as the boys had entered the living room whilst the girls were working out if their heads would fit into their bras!!! hmmm, that is one that I believe I haven't tried before!!  However, I am quietly confident that my head would fit beautifully.  Savannah's however, would look more like a balaclava, on most!!!!  No alcohol was consumed! Honest..... this was all stone cold sober, I dread to think what the conversation would have been like under the influence of alcohol!

Day 47 - A Monster in Paris

Young Nyah stayed for a sleep over, so Cassidy a very happy. Nyah is her best "out of school friend" who she doesn't get to see very often...I didn't really hear a peep out of them all night so as a treat I took them to Kids AM Cinema in Harrow.

We watched a pretty bazaar movie about a very large flee called Francoeur, he had a musical talent of monstrous proportions - a flea with a very lovely voice that was frightening the whole of Paris!!!  I couldn't help but think that the Mayor, Commissioner Maynott who wanted to kill Francoeur to increase his popularity could have done with a large bottle of Acclaim!  The kids enjoyed the film but I felt very itchy and uncomfortable!

The rest of our day was quiet, then work for 5pm equally as quiet.  I took 5 calls in 5 hours, must be a record for the Contact Centre.  Jane and I were rather restless with the silence of the night and it resulted in us comparing leg length and foot size!  We had our legs on the desks and sat for a while in wonder at who actually had the longest legs.. as mine go all the way up to my armpits, I was the clear winner, however, she does have very tiny feet and large boobs and we then wondered how she doesn't topple over!  Incidentally, she also has very small, very pretty little ears! I must look up what that might means....

"If you have small ears it just means that, that genetic feature was passed down from one of your parents. It does not symbolize anything at all either"

Except of course, her parents must have had small ears too!

There you go Jane... nothing to worry about!  Now, big boobs is something that I was a little concerned about looking up as I was not too sure what I would have come across... we will just have to say that big boobs mean you will have small feet and possibly little ears that have been inherited.... actually, that kinda works on my Mum too.... must be true!

Home at 11.15, so hungry and nothing to eat in the house, I had a bit of bread with coleslaw and left over Angel delight.... yum... x

Exciting day tomorrow... taking Savannah and Luke to GO APE!!! 

Day 46 - Easter Bunny Rude Awakening!

 

A rabbit raced a turtle

I'm sure you know who won

Mr Rabbit came in late -

A little hot cross bun!

Day 45 - Pyjama Party & Erotic Chocolate Spread!

Dressed as a Tiger in a "onesey", I jumped in the car to Enfield to my beautiful Dalhia's Birthday Party.

Eleven women, a table full of Turkish food, cocktails and face masks of all different description.

After a feast fit for non vegetarian royalty we attempted to don our face masks.

Monika was first, she chose a calming pack (it will take more than a face pack to calm her down!), it dripped a bit but she expertly applied the sticky liquid to her delicate skin.... "there" she says in her Polish accent "that is how you do it.... Bob is your Uncle Bob!", She laid back on the deck chair with the cucumber slices on her eyes and rested whilst we all attempted to apply our masks.

Nadya was next, her's was Chocolate, I gently applied this to her face, it was like spreading Nutella all over her and it was strangely erotic!  On completion she looked like she had been separated from Maleena at birth.

Maleena's turn, she looked professional with her eye mask and trendy PJ's, she spread the translucent cream over her features with ease and glowed in the candle light!  I do believe she licked Nadya's face as Chocolate dripped from her brow!

My next favourite had to be Tanya, she was like one of the Black and White Minstrels.  Tanya disappeared for a while to plaster all these photos over facebook! Including one of me looking like a giant baby Tiger, growling in the trees!  Best not to search for that one!

My mask was spearmint, very fresh with a touch of the sea!  I was worried that as it dripped into my mouth  my blood pressure would raise considerably due to the high salt content..

The ant-stress remedy

Sumaya made me laugh the most, her face mask was to alleviate stress, she slapped it on and within minutes her face started to burn, then itch, then burn again, she immediately wiped off the muck and her skin beneath was red and blotchy... she threw the packet across the table and yelled "what a bloody waste of a £1 that face mask was, it has ruined my face, I can't believe it!!!!"  She wasn't stressed before the mask went on but she was mighty stressed after.... I found this highly amusing and laughed uncontrollably, tears poured down my face.  This resulted in copious amounts of salt in my eyes, the combination of tears and the taste was almost too much to handle, on removing my mask, not only was I terribly thirsty but my eyes were red and stinging from the contents of the dead sea! Served me right really!

It doesn't really matter what Hana put's on her face
she always looks beautiful!!!

I rule this Nation!

Cup Cake Cake for Birthday Girl x

The Beautiful Sisters 

Day 44 - Playing with Balls & Heavy Breathing!!

Anyone for Tennis...

Met the Shorrock Family at the Tennis Club this morning.....

I will set the picture.... Rachel, new tennis racket, fit as a fiddle (if you have been following my blog you will remember that she was the tall fit bird in the picture that I went to the gym with), her husband Jason, also fit, strong and very competitive, equally so than his wife... Then, there was the beautiful Zoe, in her little purple tennis skirt, hair flowing and dark glasses looking every bit the part and Oliver, their son, tall, confident and strong!  Then..... there was me.... I don't even own a tennis racket and I watched as they powered the balls over the net.  I tried to creep off but I was recognized, probably the red hair and the bright blue t-shirt I was wearing gave me away, I was far from incognito!

I have played tennis once in the last 20 years, I was told to make sure that I must wait until all players are ready before I hit the ball into the court, then I was told that I must not whack the ball back too hard (that was funny) if it was a gentle ball (they did use some kinda terminology but I can't remember what it was).  Then, I was told that I was hitting the ball too close to my body - I was just pleased that I was hitting it at all... all four of them are excellent players, I actually felt a bit like a comedy mascot that was called in for amusement... it was fun, I loved it, thanks guys for putting up with me for the hour, same time next week??

Home, then work.... for the first time ever I was put onto the National Lottery Line, this is the line that the players call.  It was highly amuzing, especially for the other colleagues, it was only for the last hour of my shift and even Jane stayed on a little later in order to hear me on the calls... apparently there is this man who calls in every night about 10ish and all he says is "Horse" or it could be "Hoares"  they are not too sure but Jane said that when he started neighing it narrowed it down a little!  The other word that he repeats incessantly is "Boobs" so I do think that the latter is correct.... anyhow, I digress.

So my first call was a heavy breather, he caught me a bit by surprise so I just said "bye" and hung up.  My second call was "Greg" the Duty Manager for the evening.... he said in a very husky Greg kinda voice "What are you wearing?" I was secretly pleased that I recognized his voice immediately as I didn't really want to explain that I was wearing an orange ensamble (as Jane put it).

The next call hung up and the next call was a lovely chap who thought he may have won £250,000 on a scratchcard!  I was so excited, wouldn't that have been fantastic, if my very first "REAL" call was a big win!  However, true to fashion, on checking the ticket with my Manager, it was indeed "NOT A WINNER", I had to explain to my man that you had to get £250k three times on just one of the games and not spread over all three!!!! This was a typical Friday night call, along with the heavy breathing and the Horse Man!

Jane then proceeded to gallop all over the office on her chair pretending to be a horse, reenacting the Grand National, which you really had to see to believe.... she once again made me laugh so much that.................................

Day 43 - Woke up next to Dahlia

Bit late for my blog today, so sorry to those who use me instead of their newspaper... (Mandy)...

Just saw how many people read my blog for yesterday, 146... now, what do you think the sudden increase in number was?!!! maybe the "Naughty Little Secret" in the subject page? hmmm, interesting how people respond so readily to "Naughtiness" ... must make a mental note... I may reveal more intimate details to up my ratings in future!!! Hence my subject title today was going to be "Tenna Lady" (guess that won't get too many hits!) but I have just changed it to "Woke up next to Dahlia" I wonder how many people will read today's blog now!!!???

Today I woke next to Dahlia, our evening out last night for her birthday proved to be more that we could handle, she crashed into my bed with eye mask, ear plugs, electric blanket and 6 pilliows, very romantic!! I finished my blog, entered the room and she was fast asleep! How boring....

My dad was really cross with me for weight training at the gym, however, carrying Dahlia's make-up bag up the stairs was far more of a challenge!!!

We were up and at work by 8am and raring to go (not).... after my shift I took my raffle tickets around the Camelot offices and raised £360.00, 5 Camelot Umbrella's and a bottle of Champers! Not bad for a days work.  Everyone was so generous, it gave me a real buzz (it is a while since I had one of those!)

Popped to Jane's on the way home and her kids, Phoebe and Chloe MADE me go for a walk in the woods with Bonnie the dog!  Despite the fact that I was dressed for the office, heels and all, I totted through the trees and down muddy slopes holding onto Phoebe to keep my balance!  We had a few games of Hide & Seek - Jane made like a tree, I hardly noticed her as she posed like a great Oak, it was the flowing blonde hair that gave the game away!  Once again she had me in stitches and the inevitable happened.. Do you think they sell Tenna Lady on the Great Wall?

Day 42 - OK, £70 donation...My naughty secret revealed!!!

I have applied to go on......................... 

DEAL OR NO DEAL!!!

My secret little pleasure is Deal or No Deal, I don't watch any TV except for this when I have a few minutes for lunch... yes, it is sad and yes I have applied to be a contestant !!!! Dahlia was hoping that it would be something along the lines of "I touch myself inappropriately at night" but no.... it is the little red boxes that does it for me these days!  I will be there and I will win £75,000 - just got to be accepted!!! lol

Anyways... stop laughing (and yes Janey you can be in the audience as my +1 - I promise).....

I did a So Very Crafty Show at B.P. today, all fantastic and the evening was spent at the Artichoke in Croxley Green to celebrate Dahlia's birthday.  Fantastic food, great company. 

The girls were very inappropriate about Jane's mussels that she chose off the menu and everyone was pretty much inappropriate about Greg! Nothing much was said that he hadn't actually heard before!

My friends were very merry after the free bottle of Champers I scammed off the staff, poor Jane fell off her shoes and it didn't help much that she didn't wear her glasses and couldn't see a thing! She said "even my eyes can't see"  She was hysterical, it was one of those evenings for me that made me laugh so much that the inevitable happened "a little bit of wee escaped" and I had no alcohol at all!!

Maleena, me and Dahlia

Janey

Dahlia and the wood!

On the way home I had to put Dahlia in the back of the Belingo with my tree (hadn't had time to clear out from the show), she clung to it for dear life for some reason - once again, an inappropriate comment from Gregg!!!

Home, and Dahlia asked if I could help her up the stairs as she was staying the night!  From the luggage I actually thought that she was moving in for the rest of the year.. The bag weighed a tonne!!!  I asked her what on earth was so heavy and didn't believe her when she said "It's just my make up".

Contents of "Boots"

Day 41 - Oh yeah.... 5 Mile Walk! and my Guilty Pleasure!!!!

Got early morning alarm call from my lovely Shelley next door.... remember, the fit one!!!! Well, I had to go to Mount Vernon today to get a routine blood test for health check and thought "let's walk", Shelley was in the mood so I donned my trainers, grabbed another one of her very wee (hope I don't) bottle of waters and away we went.  I had to slow her down, she only has diddy little legs but boy can they stride!!! I felt that if we had carried on at that pace then my legs would drop off!

Chatted all the way and took about 45 minutes, on arrival, long queue, so I grabbed my little ticket and we then both did stretching exercises on the little triangle of grass outside the Pathology lab where all the old biddies looked on in horror.... I think it might have been when we were bending over that may have increased their blood pressure!

Bloods taken, striding back, I did notice that there were a great number of beeps, whistles and head turns from passing vehicles.  I decided that I would walk with Shelley more often as even though I know that the attention is all for her, I can pretend a few may be for me and this increased my stride and confidence somehow!


Route planner - From Pinner Green - Mount Vernon Hospital

Print this pageDistance: 2.5 miles (show in km)
Time: 0 hr 10 min

Feeling really good about myself after our walk, I went to Cotswold Outdoor Sports in Watford and managed to buy myself a very flash pair of hiking boots!!! I tried on loads, loved the look and feel of the ones with the fur lining but was really sensible, I went for comfort rather than style!  Also thought that the Ugg boot lining may be a bit on the warm side in China.. Also got one of those head bands that keep the UV off my head.. now I know that my friends are glad they aren't coming... I wont get many wolf whistles on the wall wearing that!

Great Wall of China.... Bring it on..........

Did something very embarrassing last night! 

I have a guilty secret pleasure and I acted on it!!! oops... 

If someone donates on my site tomorrow by £20 or more I will share with you all!

 http://www.justgiving.com/beth-routt 

Day 40 - Welcome Freddie

Message from Cassidy.....

my lovely mummy gave me a snowball hamster. it is adorable and I called it Freddie. it is so cute I could hug it all day. my big sister will not leave it alone because it is so cute. here is a lovely picture of him that I took with mummys camra!

Cassidy has been so poorly that we found her a little friend, this little chap is so fluffy he was impossible to resist.  He resides in Cassidy's room where she has promised to sleep from now on otherwise Freddie will get lonely.... however, she is back in my bed after being sick again as soon as I got home after work.

No exercise today as day revolved around trips to the doctor and trips to the pet shop.

Aside from the normal activity of sanding down table, cleaning house, making orders, three loads of washing,  hoover house, sort new fish, clean out pond and go to work till 11pm.

 Short blog today as it is looking like it will be another sleepless night for me, Cassidy and Freddie!!!!

Night my beautiful friends x

Day 39 - My Camelot friends Olympic Run

Firstly, I would like to say a very big congratulations to my lovely friends from Camelot who did the Olympic Run, 5k around the track.  I am so proud of each and every one of them for this achievement, they all trained hard and it paid off.  Their names were picked out of a hat to take on the challenge and the big day was a great success.  Well done guys xxx

Jacs and Alison

  

Dahlia and Ryan

The National Lottery Olympic Park Run

A certain part of me wishes that I had taken place in the run, however, my excuse is that I need to conserve my energy and in the blurb there was a comment that said that every runner had to finish within two hours, so that we me out anyway.

Greg ran this in 33 minutes, how impressive is that.... he is now heading for the nearest bar to catch up on the lack of drinking he has done in the last five week whilst he has been training.

Today at home was quiet, I was up most of the night with Cassidy again, if I hadn't had knowledge of the effects of this bug I would have taken her to hospital!!  Poor lamb was so uncomfortable with her tummy all night.  She slept until Midday and woke feeling much better whilst I feel shattered... I did however catch a beautiful sun rise out of my bedroom window, it made me feel like life really is worth living.

This evening I popped over to Ruth to watch a movie called "The Help", I decided I was going to run round there in honour of my colleagues amazing efforts, managed to get to the end of the shops before giving up and walking the rest of the way.  

So a few of us settled down to a feast of loveliness that only Ruth can put on, to watch a very heart wrenching movie set during the Civil rights movement of the 1960's I think, it was about the African-American maid's point of view on the white families that they had worked for over the years and all the terrible hardships and degradation they went through.  We ended up in tears, me more so than others as one of my beautiful "friends" ate all the Maltesers without sharing them... in fact, the film was stopped half way through as my horror was too apparent and I just couldn't help but create a scene!!! However, the same friend has been very supportive and has sold lots of tickets for the 14th April so I kinda had to play it down a little... until she had gone, then I could really bitch about her.... just joking Paula, you know I love you really!!!!  Nice that you are finally reading my blog!

Walked home with many thoughts in my head....... Over the past few months my emotions have really been up and down, I have been lonely yet never alone - I recited one of my favourite quotes to myself ...

“When I let go of what I am,
I become what I might be.
When I let go of what I have,
I receive what I need.”

~ Lao Tzu