Day 76 - Little Cock and The Red Arrows!

Wow, what a weekend, working the Rickmansworth Festival and still cold through to the bone!  It was a great weekend made even better by the viewing of the Red Arrows, a Lancashire Bomber and four Spitfires!  See, I told you to join me...

Good Photo Huh!

"People watching" was also quite a highlight, who would have thought that there would be such an amazing array of people in Rickmansworth, it was a little like Camden on a Sunday morning.  And, dogs were just about everywhere, every bread, every colour, every shape - I think I have decided that I would like a Cockapoo or a Cocker Spaniel, they are very cute, I have been warned off getting a Boarder Collie that I have wanted for years and this seems like a pretty good alternative - oh so cute!! What do you think?  Apart from the fact that I might need to get a second mortgage to afford one... he is pretty irresistible.

I want him!

Really busy with So Very Crafty, apart from the fact that the Windchimes I was selling were driving me crazy and making me want to go to the loo every 10 minutes.... I can still hear the tinkling in my ears!  Thank you to all of you who managed to come and keep me company, especially Dad, Les, Ruth & Jane who all got me tea and Cake/Fudge/Chocolate Peanuts... yum...

Cassidy's 7th Birthday tomorrow so short but sweet blog as my fingers are still cold!  Presents to wrap and housework to get done... a woman's work huh!

Massive thank you to Gilda & Family for the very generous £50 donation and my beautiful friend Mersedes for her £50.00 donation today too!  xxx

Love you all
B x

Day 75 - VERY RUDE BOOK!!!!!

Well, there is a very good explanation as to why I haven't written my blog.  I was hauled over to Tesco by Dahlia in order to purchase a new book that is apparently sweeping the Nation of Women Only.  She has a copy but insisted I buy my own and only when I started reading did I discover the reason why!  OMG, it is a very RUDE book!!!

I have a rather diverse number of books on the go at the moment, "Hunger Games" which is a pretty dark vision of the near future where twelve boys and twelve girls are forced to appear in a live TV show.  There is only one rule: Kill or be Killed!  My next book is "Call the Midwife" (did you see the series?  I loved it), it is based on a true story by Jennifer Worth about the East End in the 1950's, where babies were born in slum conditions, often with no running water and quite disturbing events unfold.  Then the third book, and the latest purchase... well, I never, this is called "Fifty Shades of Grey", I do believe it should be called "Fifty Shades of Blush Pink" but who am I to judge.... it is the first book that I snatched off Luke quicker than lightening when he attempted to read the synopsis!!  However, it is strangely addictive and a sight more interesting than recording my daily events (well, the events that I feel able to record anyway...lol).

So, to wrap that up, it is clear that I am the sort of person who not only is too busy to read a book but one that can survive in the forest under attack, help women give birth under difficult circumstances and have sex all at the same time... Now, that is impressive huh!

Due to being massively busy, I have only managed a few chapters whilst Cassidy reads her guided reading book (it does feel slightly wrong) and in between catching up on So Very Crafty orders and preparing for the weekend at Rickmansworth Festival and working at Camelot and doing the housework, cooking, washing and cleaning and organizing kids and extra kids that I seem to have and obviously TRAINING!!!! - these books may take a while to get through!


Please come down and see me at the Festival, it is an amazing day out for all the family with live bands and over 50 amazing stall holders with items that are not on the High Street.  I have a bright pink Gazebo so you can't miss me and will have an array of wind chimes hanging from it so you will be able to hear me too!  It would be great to see you and to have a little company as I will be there all day this Saturday and Sunday - you can bring Cake if you really love me xxx

However, in the midst of all this, Luke and I have been on several walks totally so far about 14 miles!  I have a walking buddy and I am thoroughly enjoying his company.

Day 74 - Kill or Cure with Zumba!

That's me on the left!

Decided that now I have been fully recharged I need to get back into the “Keep Fit” game.

So, I walked Cassidy to school this morning, she was more than happy with this as she was going back for tea with her boyfriend Max and full of the joys of Spring.

From school, to the gym for a workout session, it was strange, I looked through the window when I first arrived and thought I was really early, made myself a coffee and started texting a friend.  When I finally looked up, I was quite late and walked into the session whilst everyone had already started.  I hate this, I felt such an idiot trying to avoid getting smacked on the head by a bar or knocked sideways by one of the Amazonian woman pumping iron!  Made my way to the weights and chose my little yellow ones (not much heavier than a polo mint Dad so nothing to worry about), then managed to find a small space to park myself, I was squashed between a woman with a six pack and arms like Schwarzenegger and my 70 year old friend Sonia.  Sonia is about five foot tall, about 7 stone and the fittest lady I think I have ever met (even put’s Rachel to shame). I watched her in disbelief as I just couldn’t keep up! The weights she had were four times heavier than mine and my arms were four times fatter!  During a quick “sip of water” break, she pointed out her boyfriend who was working out in the gym – this “young” man looks a little like a blonde George Cloony – talk about fit…… I felt a pang of jealously waive over me and the lady is 70!!!

Half way through the instruction said Lunge and I was convinced he said “Lunch” and was ready to walk out, I had so had enough.  Apparently you have to push through the pain but I had pain in the warm up so I didn’t hold out much hope.

After the killer session, I thought that I would give the Zumba class a go.  Now Zumba, for those of you who don’t know, is the only Latin-inspired dance-fitness programme that blends red-hot international music, and contagious steps to form a “fitness-party” that is quite addictive.  It is like Salsa but on your own.

Well, kill or cure I say.  The instruction was a slim, Italian chap called Davido, very camp and teaches Salsa too, he had a wiggle that would put Elvis to shame and camped it up something rotten, the Rock ‘N’ Roll music came on and Davido put on his hat and Rocked it and I came into my own!!!! it was like a light went off in my feet as soon as “my” music started!  I LOVED this class, the music blasted and I just wiggled my way through the lesson pretending I was some kind of scintillatingly sassy Salsa Dancer.

I know what you're thinking -
"It would have been easier to dance
 if I wore my trainers!"

Day 73 How to Answer Questions on "The Belly Button"

Warning... DO NOT GOOGLE "BELLY BUTTON"
I HAVE WARNED YOU

Had a funny morning with Cassidy

We were having a snuggle in bed before school and our cat, Skye, was suckling at the collar of Cassidy's P.J top (Skye is 16 years old but still thinks she is a kitten).  Cassidy asked what she was doing and this led into an bombardment of questions.

Cassidy: "Why is she doing that Mummy?"
Mum: "Well, she thinks you are her Mummy" 
Cassidy: "How can she think that, I'm not a Cat"
Mum: "No, but she loves you and wishes you were her Mummy"
Cassidy: "But what is she doing?"
Mum: "Looking for Milk"

Cassidy Laughs out loud

Cassidy: "Where from?"
Mum: "Your Bobbies"
Cassidy: "Don't be silly", why would there be milk in there?
Mum:  Well, when you get pregnant your boobs make Milk"
Cassidy: "How?"
Mum: "It is all very clever"
Cassidy:  "How many babies did Skye have?"
Mum: "Five"
Cassidy: "Why didn't you keep them all?"
Mum: "Well, Five kitten's would have been too many cats so I decided to keep the runt of the litter - Pumpkin".
Cassidy:  "What does 'Runt' mean Mummy"?
Mum:  "Well, it is the kitten that is a bit stupid, the weakest one in the litter, strange, chubby and Ginger and has a crocked tail!"
Cassidy:  "Is that why you kept Luke?"

Mum: Laughs out loud and almost falls out of bed.

N.B This has NOT been proof read by Luke before publishing!

Followed by


Mum:  "Cass, Do you know why we have a belly button?"
Cassidy:  "Yes, of course I do"
Mum:  "Why then?"
Cassidy:  "To keep our boggies in!!!"
Mum:  "Well...." I sighed .
Cassidy: "Or, wax, and it is also used so that you can blow raspberries into it."
Mum: "Actually,  did you know that I used to feed you through your belly button."
Cassidy: Laughing out loud.... "WHAT.... With a spoon?"


Later in the afternoon, whilst Cassidy was at a friends, Savannah (whilst in Massimo) devised a game - 'Tell me something I don't know about you!', so, taking it in turns I am not sure who was most shocked, Savannah, myself or Luke who was overhearing!  However, Luke apparently likes older women and has a secret drawer with play toys...

Found this amazing clip.... copy and paste into URL and enjoy  - love you all and Goodnight xxx

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wimp.com%2Fcatdolphins%2F&h=CAQFL_WEnAQExtsICi1JagdQTGrV78xy4jJTIGMGpgZ6w6w

Day 72 - Recharging and Boob Reduction

I had the appointment with my consultant today and as I entered the room he asked me to strip off (get my boobs out!)  After an examination and the most action I have had in a while, he gets his knife and very long needle and injects the implant into my right hip/buttock!  Slight prick... hmmmm.  We have a little light conversation about the Great Wall of China whilst he cuts into my skin and I commented on the fact that I felt like a Duracell Bunny whose batteries were indeed very low! His reply was "it just wont do to have a bunny with low batteries".

He read my blog after I mentioned that he was staring in the "I found my Knickers" episode and wouldn't let me leave the consultation room until I shared the link address with him.  It made me laugh out loud when he read "My Consultant has very little, if any, bedside manner",  I was so embarrassed but somewhat bemused that he would question my judgement.  However, I did leave with £20.00 sponsorship for Marie Curie and a bill for £300!!!!

This man, however, saved my life - quite literally, he worked wonders and ventured to parts that others refused to reach.  Mr Sheridan, if you are reading the follow up, thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you have done for me, a year ago the Great Wall of China or indeed just walking up my stairs was a challenge in itself.  The six monthly visits to see you are also very worthwhile, not only for the camaraderie but for re-charging my batteries and making me feel human again. (not that I would be throwing away my bunny ears of course).

This is NOT Savannah

In the evening Luke took me and the girls out for Dinner, how lovely is that.  He wanted to spend some of him birthday money to treat us.  We had a great time and an interesting conversation with Savannah who was asking me if I would pay for her to have a boob reduction.  She commented that they were getting bigger by the day and that one was bigger than the other, Luke said "What, by, a Metric Tonne?" I do think that you could sail away in her bra's, now GG's.  Cassidy commented that she enjoys jumping on them when she is bored!

N.B. This has been proof read by Savannah before Publishing!

Day 71 - Duracell Bunny

So sorry that I haven't done my blog in a while, not been feeling myself (not that I make a habit out of feeling myself but you know what I mean).  I figured out why, after my operation I have to have an implant, this is similar to a Duracell Battery.  The life of this "Battery" is just six months and I am over a month overdue, so just like a kids toy that has been overused,  I am slow and tired and just want to sleep.  

Reminds me of the comment my friend made the other day, she had to use the batteries from her "toy" to put into her little girls Wii Remote Control.... made me think, "surely it should be the other way around?".  

I have an appointment booked with Consultant tomorrow afternoon so should be firing on all cylinders then.

Luke had an interesting time out with his Dad the other day, I overheard the conversation he was having on the phone and it went something like "it will be an experience of a lifetime Luke", my curiosity got the better of me and I just had to ask Luke where he was going.  The answer didn't really shock me having lived with his Dad for 17 years but it was a little more out of the box than usual.  "He is taking me to have a go on a time machine!", "humm, that's nice Luke", I heard myself say, (well honestly, what else can you say?).  I did however text him later that evening, I thought that if he went back to 1970 it would be quite nice for him to say hello to my Zada for me. Luke is quite an amazing kid, he has the ability to amuse his Dad to get his attention but also to keep grounded and secretly think that his Dad is a fruitcake.

On his return the next day, I was mildly interested in how his evening went.  Luke explained that it was a bright lamp with LED lights that shine fiercely into your face whilst listening to hemi sync music whilst wearing a blindfold and earphones.  Then, you get a sensation of floating outside your body and perceiving your physical body from a place outside your body... get it!?  Or, an OBE (Out of body experience), other names for this are astral projection, soul travel or even spirit walking.  I guess if anyone has ever had a near death experience you may understand this a little better.  Personally, I feel it is tricking the brain but I have to keep objective.

I also think that if someone was shining a mega bright light into your face and gave you some loud weird music to listen to whilst relaxing in a comfy chair - all sorts of things can happen!  Luke experienced some bright colours and a feeling of paralysis.  He didn't however, end up in the 1970's which I was quite disappointed about cause I thought my Zada would love to hear from me.  Arh well, may be next time.

Apparently, the machine costs £18,000 and Todd may purchase one to go into the church that he is buying for two Million.  I asked Luke where he was planning to get the money from for these two items, and with his fingers acting as quotation marks he said

"THE UNIVERSE"

So, if anyone has heard of "The Bank of the Universe" please can you give them my number because I sure can do with a loan.

Day 70 - Naked Again - Oh Dear Lord!

A little observation... how come when I have a juicy subtitle to my blog pages I get well over double the amounts of hits?  Singing in the Rain = 56 v's I am so ashamed = 142 - Marie Curie & Me = 35 v's I thought my friend and ex husband had died = 215 - So this is the reason for my blog title today. I am curious to know how many hits I get with this - it has no bearing on the content - sorry to disappoint!  P.S. The people viewing from Mombasa please reveal yourselves!

Anyway, not really feeling myself today (not that I make a habit out of feeling myself) but just feel a bit flat.

I received this email today from "Go Ape" where I took the kids the other week... made me laugh!!!

Knitting News! (well I have to keep her happy - she is one of my bestest friends after all!)

Gino

My friend Sarah wants to knit me this!!! I really hate to say it but it is absolutely fantastic and I could put it in the tree where Gino used to live.... Sarah, I really do want one please!!! and, forgive all my previous comments, I will delete them and will honour your knitting abilities till the day I die (then you could knit me a daffodil (my favorite flowers by the way if anyone was thinking of buying any for me when I die or indeed when I am still alive would be preferable)

Oh Dear Lord!!!

And his friends!

Busy day, cleared front garden, planted a few pretties, mowed lawn, cleaned house, shopping and finished off Memory Box for First Holy Communion, made four candles (not fork handles) and did a show with So Very Crafty!  Entertained a house full of  children, cooked and cleaned and all feeling a bit like rubbish!  I did however put on  my Wonder Woman knickers this morning in the hope that something amazing  would happen and I guess having the ability to get through the day was wonder  enough. 1st Holy Communion Box  Tonight I have five children and I love it, the more the merrier I say - just eaten  copious amounts of junk food and don't really care - tomorrow is another day.

Day 69 - Singing in the Rain

75 years on and what a treat.  I took Cassidy to see Singing in the Rain at the Palace Theatre last night.  It was totally amazing and I had a blow by blow account of what was going to happen next as it is Cassidy's favorite movie of all time (all six years of them).

It was a mind blowing production that was rightly given a standing ovation, I just wish that I could have taken Savannah and Luke too.  The adaptation was out of this world and Gene, Donald and Debbie would have been so proud to have seen it.

Little comments during the show just melted my heart... like

"Mum, is that real rain?"  (The audience in the front were drenched as they were showered with "Singing in the Rain"

and

"How long do I have with this telescope before it runs out", (I feel old as I remember paying 2p for the binoculars when I was younger and now it costs £1.00).

and "this is better than the movie" and

"When is the policeman coming on, he should have been on stage by now because in the movie".. in the movie, in the movie, bla bla bla... she was like a movie critic, she couldn't take her eyes off the stage and I enjoyed every moment not only through my eyes but through hers too.


Cassidy slept with her programme last night and has taken it into school this morning for "Show and Tell", she also took with her the lyrics to "Moses Supposes" and has learnt them by heart already!


Check out this link.... short clip from the production.... guess how many times Cassidy has watched it already?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOiIGUg6yLI&feature=email

Cassidy's Comments

On Thursday mummy and I went to the palace theatre  to see singing in the rain there were lots of decorations there. My favorite song was singing in the rain because he splashed in the rain that was falling from the ceiling and the front row had to were plastic coats over them because he splashed it all over them! and I am so lucky because mummy is going to take me to Matilda in London as well.




                                           

Day 68 - I found my knickers!

Now... the cake box is empty and I had to tackle Savannah to the floor so that she wouldn't read out the calories for each slice... I actually tried to eat the box too so that I wouldn't find out!

Good News

I found my Wonder Woman knickers today - these are very special to me, I actually think they had a small part in saving my life.  Now, I know that sounds a bit ridiculous but last year I had a pretty big Operation, I had a rough time of it and the final result was a Hysterectomy.

I was gutted (excuse the pun) and petrified, and I remember the lead up to the operation very well.  Ruth drove me into Spires and I was shown to my room, all very posh.

Talk about an amazing friend, she was incredible (I am so lucky to have such great people in my life).  She had a little present for me and it was the pair of Wonder Women knickers that I found today.  I put them on my head just before my Consultant came into the room to give me the brief (another pun lol) of events that I was about to undertake.  We had a giggle, (hence new knickers!) wondering if he would say anything about my new "head" attire.  He said nothing, he looked at me, then back to Ruth, took the price tag with the Wonder Woman logo and attached it to the front page of my notes.

From them on.. I was known as Wonder Woman and knew that this operation was going to be a total success and I would pull through, spin around and indeed, become Wonder Woman.

My Consultant, Mr Sheridan was very matter-of-fact kind of man, with quite a dry sense of humor and very little bedside manner, if any.  I asked him if he would mind giving me a tummy tuck whist I am knocked out which is no less that I deserved after my past ordeals. With a wry smile his reply was "I could, but then it will just make the rest of you look fat"... I got him back... he was just about to examine me yet again, I felt like I was having some kind of romantic relationship with him.  I just felt it necessary as he put on his rubber gloves to say "arn't you going to kiss me first?"

Ruth stayed the whole time I was there being sliced open and when I came around, she had my knickers all save and sound.. I think they were on her head but I may have been hallucinating with all the drugs I was on!

Outcome is that I am now fitter than I have ever been, pain free and even without the tummy tuck the knickers don't look that bad on! And now, against all the odds I am going to Walk the Great Wall of China where the flat level sections of the challenge are restricted to the first and last 10 minutes of each day, at all the other times it will be either going up hill or down hill.  It is often very steep and most of the trekking will be ascending and descending flights of very uneven and irregular steps.  There are some scrambling sections on the ascent onto the wall and the descent from it, it will consist of walking on rough, uneven ground at very steep gradients - this is something that I would NEVER have thought possible for me to do - still a massive challenge but I am determined not to be beaten.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT

 XXX

http://www.justgiving.com/beth-routt

Day 67 - I am so ashamed!

It;s gone - almost all of it, every hour I take another little slither, it is the most delicious stuff I have ever eaten.... it is sort of a flat cake with daim bar crumbled all over it and smothered in that lovely daim bar chocolate.... oh, even thinking of it makes me want to raid the fridge again, by the end of tonight, it will be gone... I just know it!

Last night I just wasn't in the mood at all to write my blog... it was a tough day and at work in the evening Jane made it very very clear that even if she had a dagger through her heart and hot pokers coming out of her eyes, even if she were (god forbid) in a car accident, if I was there.... I am to put on some clothes before helping her.  She said "the last thing I want to see before I die is you naked" - charming! It actually made me question 1)  If I would actually help her anyway and 2. If she had hot pokers in her eyes she wouldn't see me!  However Jane, if this were ever the case and you need help for anything, rest assured I will strip off naked, even if it is just help with the washing up!

We were trying to think of a topic for yesterday;s blog and came up with writing about "The Perfect Man"... this is how far we got before we got bored.

1.  Does he exist?
2.  Where does he live?

That is it.... done.  If anyone has the answers to these questions then I would be very pleased to hear them.

My new Dentist

I went to the dentist this morning.  I have a lovely dentist called Sarah, she is from New Zealand and over the years we have become quite good friends.  She is fantastic with the kids and treats me like one of them. ie. she makes sure that I have enough drugs as possible so it doesn't hurt... I even get a sticker if I am a good girl.  Well, Sarah is going home to New Zealand in a few months and I am very upset, I am not keen on my new dentist and will miss her very much!

Sarah

We discuss all sorts of things whilst I am in the chair.  Well, she does do most of the talking because I've usually got something like a big hunk of cotton wool stuck in my mouth... or her fist!!  She has a husband that collects Coffee Machines, apparently they are everywhere in the house, huge, massive things, they don't work, he just likes them.  It made me laugh as Todd used to collect saws.. all sorts of saws, big ones with big teeth and bigger ones with even bigger teeth and smaller big teethed ones and two handed ones, ones with old handles and ones with small old ones... I actually still have them in the shed - FASCINATING HUH!! All those teeth - at least Sarah seemed interested!!!

Sarah has asked if I can bring in some of my artwork for them to sell in the surgery,  I thought it might be a good idea to take a couple of pieces with the proceeds going towards Marie Curie... must think about which ones to take - the best ones of course are at the Royal Academy awaiting approval.... lol.